Sex Tourists – s/t LP (Drunken Sailor Records, 2018)

It’ll come as no surprise to the majority of readers that I hold no truck with electronic music, beyond “not minding” a few New Order songs. And when I say “not minding” a few New Order songs, I mean I wouldn’t shit the bed over it and try and smash someone’s stereo with a hammer if they were playing New Order. I clearly wouldn’t choose to bang on New Order out of choice, though, unless my only choices were Frank Turner, The Menzingers or New Order. I’d bang them on then, no hesitation, as the other two choices would see me reaching for the carving knife and lopping my fucking ears off mate, before plunging my head into a vat of boiling acid.

Hence, when I put this on, I thought to myself, “it sounds a bit like New Order, this. It’s not bad”. So, Sex Tourists, apart from being a name that’ll drop red flags like nobody’s business in your internet search history at work come from Sydney, Australia. Yes that place with the mad shaped opera house on t’other side of the world, mate. The vocals carry a strong local accent that I really approve of (and which I thought was the best thing about this record). Once again, you’ll not be surprised to find out that they are made up of members of other bands that no fucker in England has heard of: Aloha Units, Natalia And Her Naptime and Houseband. This record was originally released via Paradise Daily Records, and this pressing on Drunken Sailor is restricted to Europe.

Anyway, beyond having an obvious penchant for the music of New Order, Sex Tourists have an overtly post-punk sound that reminded me quite a bit of Echo & The Bunnymen meets Depeche Mode for some reason, along with a much subtler, calmer stroke of electro punk in the vein of The Faint. There’s also an element of Interpol in there, at least to my ears, along with a dash of Pretty Hate Machine era Nine Inch Nails.

In fact, if I were to mix the least good elements of these bands together, it would sound pretty much identical to this. I can’t escape the feeling that I’d definitely feel like I was having an infinitely better time if I was listening to either the new Denim and Leather or ISS record (both of which came out on the same day as this one) instead.

Having said this, I can understand why this would appeal to people that are either much cooler than I am, or that have a broader range of musical tolerance. I can even think of people who would buy it for sure. Maybe even think it was the best thing ever. However, I’m happy enough just blasting through records where the main themes are three chords and the truth, wearing the same combo of jeans and T shirt that I always wear, day in day out. Apologies to Sex Tourists (the band, not ACTUAL sex tourists, although perhaps the two may not be mutually exclusive – who knows?), but it’s not for me. I can’t even imagine ever wanting to put this on. Maybe I have no poetry in my soul? It’s a Tony of Nurgle rating of 3/10 I’m afraid.

You should check this out for yourself on the player below, however, and make up your own mind. Maybe you can even be first in the queue to tell me how wrong I am?

If you find this to your liking, you should note that the first 100 LPs are on (as yet to be determined) coloured vinyl and pre-orders are available from Drunken Sailor Records.

Tony of Nurgle is a true child of the North, currently living in exile in Croydon, South East London. He used to co-run a specialist record store in Manchester (Roadkill Records), and also spent a couple of years as a promoter, and put on shows for the likes of Leatherface, the Loved Ones, Lucero, Minus The Bear, These Arms Are Snakes, Spy vs Spy, Latterman etc. He also spent several years DJing at shady rock clubs in Manchester, and started the infamous Thursday night "punk room" at Jilly's Rockworld. Also responsible for Middle Finger Response, and collaborated with a couple of friends on a monthly night called Refuse to Lose, which will still occasionally reunite the original DJ line-up - hopefully in the not too distant future. Apart from that, it's all bitterness and a jaundiced view of human nature, rarely skateboarding, often reading books with maps in the front.

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